


certainty (in a better life)

by TheStarrySkiesOfPalaven



Series: by your side [1]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, POV Second Person, Reunions, but not background enough to not be tagged, established lucisev, finding your gf after being separated through a jump to the past, mostly background chrobin and sumidelia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 18:28:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20030353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStarrySkiesOfPalaven/pseuds/TheStarrySkiesOfPalaven
Summary: the shepherds depose a local brigand lord, and lucina finds much more than stolen food inside that castle.orwhat if lucina could also be the one recruiting in the kids' paralogues instead of just chrom+moms......... it would've been GOOD intsys!!





	certainty (in a better life)

**Author's Note:**

> i have no excuse except for self-indulgent lucina angst and lucisev, i love these disasters
> 
> (also yes the title IS literally from me googling antonyms for ambivalence how'd u know)

"Father? That seems to be the place."

He turns to you and nods. "I hope Gaius brings good news."

You both try to keep your head down as you peek over the hillcrest, and look over the breadth of the castle that sits downhill. It seems mostly inconspicuous, but you expect that to be deliberate.

You wait barely a few minutes before Gaius shows up from his advance scouting, as stealthy as ever.

"All done, Blues. We're not sneaking in, that's for sure; too many sentries," he says quietly. "This Nelson fellow's proper paranoid..."

Father sighs, weary yet resolute, and backs up enough so he can stand without being seen. "I expected as much, and yet... I was hoping not to start another full-on skirmish for a while after those Risen ambushes."

You walk over and put a comforting arm on his shoulder. "What do you want us to do, Father?"

He gives you a grateful look before looking back towards the convoy where the rest of the Shepherds sit in waiting. "The townsfolk are counting on us. Gaius, how many entrances are there?

"Only the front two as far as I could see; didn't notice any secret ones. Seem to lead into separate wings of the castle."

"We need to inform Robin, then... time for a plan."

_Robin_...

You both head to the command tent to start on the planning, and Mother's there pouring over some maps as usual, and your throat goes a bit tight again. You still have a hard time grasping that not only does your father know who you are, but so does your mother.

Your mother, who you've barely known, who you've yearned to know, is _here_. She's _alive_.

You still have the moment seared into your mind; when father said your name to her and explained your story and she looked at you for several long moments and realized who you were. Her eyes filled with such tenderness that you almost dropped to your knees due to the overwhelming tides of emotion that swept over you.

When she embraced you like you always dreamed of, you couldn't stop crying for the better part of an hour. You exhausted yourself so thoroughly that when you woke up in the morning you thought it was all yet another wishful dream... at least, until the tent flap opened to reveal Father laughing, and Mother hauling in a few practice swords and saying that she would let him carry the practice swords when he learned how not to break them with a single touch.

If you had any more tears to shed, you would've burst into sobs again right then and there.

You're brought back from your reminiscing by Aunt Lissa's exuberance about a part of Mother's plan. You idly think about how you noticed that, even though she carries a fairly hefty axe with her, she still likes to use the healing staves to bash heads in.

The familiarity of that particular quirk makes you smile. Despite not being the most skilled at fighting, the amount of times Brady swiftly and effectively smacked Risen down with his staff (much to your and everyone else's wonder) is too numerous to count.

A wave of melancholy sweeps over you once more. Two years' worth of lonely (_so lonely_) wandering and hiding from your parents and the rest of the Shepherds had caught up with you like a galloping horse after you revealed yourself.

You miss everyone _so much_.

"... should cover everything. Questions?"

Mother's question brings you back to reality again, and you see everyone turning to leave the tent. Mother's looking at you with a knowing smile on her face, and you realize you brooded through most of the planning; you feel your face heat up in shame.

She goes towards you, and you push down the embarrassment as best as you can. She lays her hands on your shoulders and squeezes them gently.

"Is everything alright, honey?"

"I... yes?"

"I've known Chrom long enough to recognize that royal brooding look anywhere, you know?"

You let out a surprised laugh at that. "I always did want to be like him when I grew up..."

She winks at you. "And so you are. Is... I'm here if you want to talk, you know?"

"I know, Mother, I just... I miss my friends. I haven't seen them in _years_."

She nods understandingly. "I know I've said it before, but we'll find them, Lucina. We _will_... especially if Frederick has anything to say about it." she says with a cheeky smile.

You laugh again. "Sir Frederick certainly is as, uh... _dedicated_ as I've heard from stories. I wish I knew him as my godsfather and not just a story of a valiant knight, but...."

Mother looks at you for a moment, and then suddenly embraces you again, much to your surprise.

"Mother--"

"Listen, Lucina... Chrom and I... we may not know what happened. We may not know how or why we left you and went and died on you, but we did. We can't answer for our future selves, but we _can_ answer for ourselves, here and now; and we aim to fix our mistakes, whatever they may be. And you? You're our daughter, and we love you. You deserved a better life, and... as late as it may be, we aim to give it to you."

You stand there not knowing what to say for what feels like hours. You barely feel stray tears run down your cheeks, unable to keep them at bay.

"But-- I--" you stammer, trying to gather your chaotic thoughts. "Mother, what about..."

You still don't know how to refer to your younger self without inviting a dizzy spell; it's still a bit too surreal, even after years of knowing it would happen, and even seeing her from the gathered crowd when she was presented to the people of Ylisstol. And now... both your greatest dreams and greatest terrors are happening at the same time, because you have your parents back but they're not _yours_, they're little Lucina's, and you're stealing them from her like a selfish _dastard_\--

Mother's gentle fingers are on your cheeks, wiping away your tears. "As if we can't take care of two kids at the same time?" she says with a knowing smile. "We love you, Lucina, and nothing's going to change that."

_'How?'_, you want to scream. How can she read you as easily as one of her strategy books? You start to shake slightly with overpowering emotion, looking away from her and at the ground.

"Couldn't have said it better myself."

Father's voice startles you as it rings out right beside you, and you turn to find him embracing you and Mother gently.

You let yourself sink into it far easier than you thought.

Moments pass and none of you are willing to let go; least of all you.

No matter how much you hate yourself for it, you _never_ want to let go.

Finally, you gather the courage to speak up.

"... is this a good time to mention that I have a younger brother?"

They say nothing for a few seconds, then Father lets out a chuckle.

"Four, then."

Mother hums in agreement, squeezing you all the tighter.

You squeeze back.

* * *

Father decides to give the brigands a chance at laying down their weapons, but his hopes are dashed when his shouted speech and demand for surrender is answered with visible archers appearing through the windows within minutes.

They quickly catch you up on the plan, and you find yourself alongside Lady Cordelia and Lady Sumia as they ride side by side, as well as Mother, Father and Libra, the stalwart monk, as their support. Mother told you of how Sir Frederick leads the other team of Lady Cherche, Lord Virion, and Sir Stahl, with Aunt Lissa and Aunt Maribelle as their pillars.

Lady Cordelia beckons you onto her pegasus, while Father rides on Lady Sumia's. Mother's plan is for them to fly inside the halls quickly and drop you and Father off in the midst of the fray; she and Libra will hurl magic and weapons as they keep up on a horse. The whole plan is as exciting as it is risky... but it's the best one you've got.

You steel yourself for your task; that of quickly overpowering any of the eastern hall's resistance so you and your comrades can flank the western team's enemies from behind.

Father looks over everyone, and you all nod resolutely. He nods back, and everything bursts into motion.

The fliers and cavalry crest the hill and swoop down, and you can barely hear the shouts of alarm come from the windows as both of the doors are charged with riders. Powerful wind magic from Mother and Aunt Maribelle slams against the doors as it bashes them in and causes the arrows from the defenders to stray wildly.

The doors quickly crumble to pieces on both sides, and everyone swoops in. You and Father jump off the pegasi right onto some of the sentries, who barely have time to raise their weapons before you two dispatch them on landing. Lady Cordelia and Lady Sumia continue forwards with their momentum to charge any ranged attackers, and you pick yourself up and run with Father through the corridor.

This kind of dance is familiar; your mind is only tuned into the partner at your back, dodging, parrying, and striking as lightning.

Mother catches up and stands at your and Father's side, her hands glowing with magic and melting weapon and armor alike with flames hot enough to be felt through the entire hall.

The initial wave calms down a bit as the few remaining brigands either throw down their weapons in surrender, or run further into the castle to rally some kind of more organized defense. You run after them and see Lady Cordelia and Lady Sumia block their path, and they too decide their lives are worth far more than continuing to fight.

As the surrendering brigands are quickly and expertly tied up together by the pegasus knights, you pass one of the doors to the side and hear the muffled sounds of what sounds like a heated argument. You beckon Mother over to cover you, and you approach cautiously. Even through the muffling of the door, what you hear nearly stops your heart.

".. are you _DAFT_?! Do you WANT to die?! You have a wife and a kid on the way to think of, Holland!"

"But if I don't fight, how will they survive? We _need_ this money! I know it's bloodied gold, but--"

The last time you heard that voice was a desperate urging to go, go, _go_, and that she'd be right behind you through the portal, and her lips on yours (a promise from you and from her that you'll both make it, that you'll find each other again, and _go_.)

"... And _I'm_ sure they'd prefer that YOU were alive to GIVE it to them! I know that as a parent you want to do anything for your children, but losing you is not one of those things! Your kid deserves better than that! Nelson's a goner; I'm leaving this dump, but not before retrieving what he stole from me. If the real Chrom of Ylisse is attacking us, then he'll listen to our surrender; let's get out of here!"

"You're-- you're right, as always... Let's hurry!"

You can't take it anymore, and you burst into the room with hope beyond hope in your heart and--

The sword that automatically points towards you is utterly irrelevant compared to the sheer relief and joy you feel when you see that red, red hair and that scowl that quickly dissolves into shock, and you could _sing_ and _cry_ and _oh_.

Severa says nothing, just stares as if she's seen a ghost.

All your fuzzy mind can do is let out a quiet whisper of "Severa...", drop Falchion to the ground, and charge her with the tightest hug you can muster.

She drops her own sword and returns it just as tightly, and you can feel her start to shake.

She pulls back and you see the familiar worried scowl is back, and you've _beyond_ happy to see it.

"Where the HELL have you been, Luci?! I've been looking for everyone for _weeks_, you-- you--! Do you have any idea how worried I've been for you dummies?! I've been roaming the continent for _weeks_ and not a single peep from you!"

"I--" you try to say something coherent, but you can only be deliriously happy and you take her face into your hands and kiss her like your life depends on it.

She tries to keep being angry (worried, relieved, _happy_), but she melts into your embrace as quickly as ever.

(Oh, _how_ you missed her)

A few moments pass before an awkward throat clearing sounds, and you realize Mother and the worn down mercenary are still there and the world _didn't_ magically disappear as you reunited with Severa.

You'd quite like the ground to swallow you right now.

Severa, always the somewhat more sensible one, ignores your embarrassment (and hers) and grabs her sword and yours, then drags you out of the room and back into the fray. Mother looks bemused, but also has that _knowing_ smile that makes you certain that you're in for teasing later; she follows along quickly after telling the other mercenary to stay put and wait for the fighting to be over.

The rest of the fight is a clean-up; you clear the central hall and flank the western half's defenders, who also quickly decide their situation is hopeless. After they're dealt with, it's off to a side chamber that Severa points out is where the leader of these brigands resides.

As you march down the hall, you let your curiosity loose a bit.

"How did you find yourself here, Severa?"

She groans. "I took odd jobs here and there to have enough to eat and this guy... _ugh_, I should've known the money was too good to be true. One night when I was sleeping he stole-- he stole Mother's ring, that dastard! I couldn't find any way to take it back without a sword through my throat, so I was stuck here, thinking about what to do."

You loop an arm around her shoulders, and she grudgingly (wholeheartedly) accepts the gesture.

It hits you again and again. _Blessed Naga, Severa is back_.

"_Gawds_, I'm gonna kick that risen-ugly son of a bitch right between the legs, _then_ we'll see whose jewelry is more valuable, that dastard..."

She really _is_ back, and you haven't been this elated in a _long_ time.

"... Luci? If you keep making those lovey-dovey eyes at me I'll have no choice but to push you into the next suit of armor."

The laugh you let out is pure joy.

* * *

Nelson is an envious shell of a man, a craven who denies it to his end.

Severa wipes her sword of his blood, and rummages through his pockets before finally letting out a relieved sigh. She holds up the ring that belongs to-- _belonged_ to the Cordelia of the future.

You walk up to her slowly. "Is it intact?"

She nods wordlessly, clutching the last keepsake she still has of her parents tightly to her chest.

Father chooses that moment to interrupt. "So, Robin tells me you're one of Lucina's friends?"

Severa turns to him and blinks a bit, taking in the sight of him. "Oh. You're... Lucina's dad, huh?"

"Yes. A pleasure to meet you. Lucina's been quite worried about finding all of you."

Severa looks at you and shakes her head in exasperation. "Yeah, well... I've been worried too! I've been looking for everyone for almost a month now, and nothing! _Nothing_!"

Father frowns slightly. "Almost a month?" he says, glancing at you worriedly.

"Uh, yeah? What? Why are you making that face?"

You bite your lip, before just deciding to say it. "Severa... You're the first one I've found. I-- I've been here for over two years now."

Her face goes blank for a moment before her eyes fill with angry (compassionate, self-recriminating) tears and she grabs you by the shoulders. "You-- you noble idiot! Why'd you let me rant at you when you've-- when you're the one who-- gawds, I..." she can't get anything else out, so she just hugs you for all she's worth.

You appreciate it more than you can say. "It's alright, Sev... I'm-- I've been alright."

She knows that's not completely accurate (of course she does), but all she does is squint intensely at you to let you know you're going to be talking more about this later.

Father clears his throat a bit, and continues. "Anyway, we're going to get the stolen supplies loaded soon; we'd appreciate any help you could give."

"Ugh, fiiiine..." she says as she lets you go, and slips the ring onto her finger.

"Hm? Whose ring is that?"

Severa's heckles raise. "It's mine! It-- it means a lot to me... this dastard stole it, and now I got it back." she says, kicking Nelson's cooling corpse for good measure.

"I'm glad you have it back, then." Father says, smiling.

Severa only huffs and turns away, scowling. You smile and take her hand in yours, and lead her towards where Mother is tallying the crates.

A few minutes of labor pass before you feel Severa suddenly stiffen next to you, looking behind you; you turn around to see Lady Cordelia standing there, and you suck in a breath.

"I just wanted to thank you for your aid, er... I'm sorry, I don't know your name?"

You can see Severa visibly have to restrain herself from just jumping into her mother's arms. "Severa... it's Severa." she says, indifferent (tremulous, cautious, terrified, _happy_), turning away to look anywhere but in front of her. You grab her hand gently, saying more than words can.

Lady Cordelia smiles gently. "It suits you. My name is--"

"Cordelia. I know." Severa interrupts, quicker than lightning. She looks away once more.

"Um... how do you...?" Lady Cordelia says, before noticing your hand in Severa's. You see her think hard for a few moments, and her face lights up in revelation. "Ah! You-- are you one of Lucina's friends?"

Severa grunts. "And what if I am?"

Lady Cordelia says nothing for a few more moments, then another epiphany seems to strike her, and her gaze turns impossibly gentle.

"Oh. Oh... you're mine, aren't you?"

Severa flinches hard, and her hand becomes a death grip. You barely catch her mumble out "I missed you."

"Pardon?"

"I _said_, it's not a mystery! I obviously am! So what?"

Lady Cordelia is taken aback for a moment, then comes a step closer. "It matters, Severa."

"No, it doesn't! You don't care one bit!"

"Severa... how can you say that?"

"If you did, you-- you wouldn't have--" she begins to yell, then starts to choke on her suppressed tears. "If you cared, then why did you _leave_?! You both just went off to fight and never came back! You left me and Cyn all alone because you went to fight in a dead man's name for 'what mattered'!"

A solid minute passes where Severa tries to stop herself from shaking, and you do your best to help her. Lady Cordelia finally speaks, her voice sad. "I... I can't speak for my future self, Severa. I don't know her thoughts and I don't know what horrors your future held first-hand... but what I _can_ say, is that what she meant by 'what mattered' was her family. Of that, I am certain; building a peaceful world for my family is what I dream of even now."

Severa sniffles. "You think I don't know that?! I do! I--"

Lady Cordelia cradles Severa's cheeks gently to look her in the eyes. "I'm sorry I wasn't a better mother, Severa."

"Sh-Shut up! You're _my_ mother, which means you're the best mother in the world, and that's that!"

"... and the luckiest, it seems." Lady Cordelia says, smiling once again.

Severa's lip wobbles as she finally lets the tears flow. "I missed you so much, Mom! I-- I'm sorry I was so mean... I don't wanna lose you again; promise you won't leave? Promise?"

"I promise, Severa. My darling daughter..."

You look away from the touching scene to wipe your own eyes. Your heart feels full to bursting, and you only hope that when you find everyone, they too can find happiness like this.

As you lower your hand from your eyes, you spot Lady Sumia approaching the two embracing women, a worried look on her face.

_'Oh dear,'_ you think idly. _'I forgot that Lady Sumia and Lady Cordelia aren't yet-'_

"Cordelia? Is everything alright? What was the shouting just now?"

Both Severa and Lady Cordelia look up, and while Lady Cordelia opens her mouth to reassure her, she's beaten to the punch by Severa's sobs intensifying and her rushing towards Lady Sumia with a cry of "Mama!"

She hugs Lady Sumia hard enough to almost unbalance her, and it takes a few seconds for what she said to register with both of the pegasus knights.

The moment it does, Lady Sumia begins sputtering in confusion but she still hugs the sobbing Severa back; Lady Cordelia, however, turns as red as her hair as the implications hit her. She seems too stunned to do anything but stare at the scene in front of her, her mind whirling.

You feel the awkwardness intensely, especially when Lady Sumia looks up for an explanation and finds none in Lady Cordelia. She turns to you, and you clear your throat lightly.

"This is Severa; she came with me from the future."

Lady Sumia reaches the same epiphany as Lady Cordelia did earlier, and she turns her gentle gaze down at the crying woman hugging her.

"O-Oh... oh my..."

Severa lets go soon, and tries to wipe her eyes while her sobs abate slowly. The motion shows the ring on her finger, and Lady Sumia sucks in a breath.

"I-- that ring..."

Severa nods absently. "Yeah, it's the one you bought for Mom."

"Your m-mom?"

"Yeah? Duh? Love of your life and all? Ring any bells?" she says, gesturing towards the still-stunned Lady Cordelia.

The silence is almost deafening.

You clear your throat again to catch Severa's attention. "Severa..."

"What, Luci?"

"I, uh..." Gods, this feels _awkward_. "I forgot to tell you, but... your mothers aren't together yet."

She's quiet for a moment, then backs up to take a good look at both of the stunned and blushing women around her; you can see the moment it clicks for her and her scowl makes a reappearance as she shouts out an incredulous "_WHAT?!_ I thought you two being stupid about love was an exaggeration! I'd like me and my sister to _exist_, thank you very m--"

You gently take her hand and start leading her away. "Let's um... let's give them some time to talk?"

She goes along, albeit reluctantly, and you leave the two blushing knights to talk about this new, uh... development.

You want to find a quiet spot for you and Severa to talk, but you think back to Mother's knowing smile and know it's probably better to prevent her from teaming up with Father to tease you about your girlfriend.

As you both make your way to your parents' tent, you realize that with all the intensity of today _and_ reuniting with Severa, you haven't felt any apprehension or worry about the future for a while. It feels... almost normal; you long for the day you finally know the peace will last.

And as Severa's hand, fingers intertwined with yours, gently squeezes yours before you enter the tent... you know that day will come soon.

You'll all make sure of it.


End file.
